Tuesday, 22 March 2011

• Letter to Fatass

  Dear Mr. Angry Teacher,

  After getting home from my college classes today, the high school’s most recent newsletter was brought to my attention.  In this article, you complain of the unhealthy food choices, the prices, the lack of silverware and “proper” dishes, and some lunch lady who, according to your words, “barked,” at you.  Apparently, you were asked to pay around $6.50 or so for what was probably a crap load of food you had piled high on your Styrofoam tray—a most outrageous price compared to the two double cheeseburgers you could have gotten at Dairy Queen for $3.33.

  I have a question for you…

  Would you like fries and a drink with that?  If so, go ahead and add  $3.00 more, plus tax to those 2 healthy double cheeseburgers, and you have about the same price you were asked to pay by the barking lunch lady.  Now, I don’t work at the school, but I never knew they had dogs preparing the meals for the kids and teachers.  Amazing!  I challenge you, Mr. Nutcase, to visit any of the restaurants in Hyden and order as much food as you had that day and see if you can get it for less than what you were asked to pay.  I’ll bet my life you will not succeed.

  Now, it’s true the schools in America need to serve healthier foods than what is currently served.  America has the fattest people on this face of this planet, and you’re probably one of them.  Did you go through the much healthier salad and fruits line that day?  I know they offer that.  I know quite a few students there, and the healthier foods line is an every day thing.  Furthermore, I spoke with some of them and it turns out that line IS well stocked.  So Mr. Idiot, you lied, didn’t you?  Regarding your complaints of the blows the cafeteria is making on the environment, what do you think fast food joints serve their foods in?  Paper wrappers?  Boxes?  What kinds of utensils do they offer?  Plastic forks and spoons?  That’s what I thought.  Besides, with violence reaching epidemic proportions in today’s schools in America, I think it wouldn’t be so wise to allow metal forks and butter knives into the hands of some of the troubled kids who undoubtedly attend each of these schools.  What you suggest isn’t logical.

  The only thing your article achieves is the encouragement of bad behavior in the school’s cafeteria.  A select number of students feel they are being wronged, and so they go through the lines dumping out bits of vegetables from their salads into the serving lines.  Then there are those who shout, “I don’t have that much money!” in an angry tone, all because you got your feelings hurt or so, and decided to write up your little rant for the kids, cafeteria workers, board members, and whoever else to read.  Shame on you!  If you want healthier foods, take your concerns to the state level, which is who decides what kinds of foods are worthy of being on the menus.  Don’t moan and complain about the people who are just doing their jobs, especially going so far as to say they bark like dogs.

  How much food did you have that day, sir?  Did you pile your tray high with healthy fruits and veggies?  No.  As you state in your article, you had hot dogs and breads.  You definitely sound like someone who is worried about eating healthy, and you probably look like someone who worries about that as well.  Your article was well written (mechanically), I’ll give you that, but looking beyond the decent writing you sound more like an idiot than anything else.  Don’t be the pot who calls the kettle black.  Don’t point your crooked finger at people who are only doing their jobs.  If you can’t practice what you preach, it’d do you good to simply put down your pen and shut up.  Bravo for encouraging bad behavior!  I plan to call the board and talk crap about you, not that it will do any good, but it just so happens that I myself have a big mouth too, and I intend to use it.

  I’ll bet you weigh a ton, don’t you?  I’ll bet it’s the cafeteria’s fault, too.

  EDIT:

  By the way, folks, I'm not at all disagreeing that we need healthier meal options in our schools.  We do.  We need them desperately and immediately.  I am just trying to tear into a man who got his feelings hurt over the price of his shit load of food, then published an article in which he says my mom barked like a fucking dog.  That's my issue with this asshole.  :)  Don't mess with a bitch's mom.  Furthermore, I'm not just picking on some fat guy.  I'm overweight too, and that's all my fault.

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